Hi Everybody! Sure hope you each had a terrific week. Here'a few laugh (hopefully) to get ready for the weekend!
A grad student, a post-doc, and a professor are walking through a city park and they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke.
The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one."
"Me first! Me first!" says the grad student. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat with a gorgeous woman who sunbathes topless."
Poof! He's gone.
"Me next! Me next!" says the post-doc. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with a professional hula dancer on one side and a Mai Tai on the other."
Poof! He's gone.
"You're next," the Genie says to the professor.
The professor says "I want those guys back in the lab after lunch."
BONUS JOKE:
A blind man, a deaf man, and a man in a wheelchair were among the audience at a revival meeting. The visiting faith healer went into the audience, grabbed the blind man and asked hem how long it had been since he was able to see. "Years," replied t he blind man. "I can't remember the last time I saw the blue of the sky." The faith healer touched the man's eyes, shook him and cried, "Heal!" "I can see!" shouted the man.
After the crowd stopped whispering their astonishment, the faith healer proceeded to the deaf man. "How long has it been since you lost your hearing?" he signed fluently. "More than 20 years," the man signed back. The faith healer boxed the man's ears and shouted, "Heal!" The man grabbed his ears and cried out with joy. "I can hear! Dear God, I can hear!"
Again the crowd whispered in amazement as the faith healer moved toward the man in a wheelchair. As the faith healer neared him, the man cried out, "Don't freakin' touch me. I'm on Worker's Comp!"
Compliments of: The H-man
Have a great weekend. See you at Happy Hour.