After a 2 week hiatus, the Friday Funnies are back! Hope you are well and that you have a dry weekend!!
A depressed young woman was so sad and depressed, she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. When she went down to the docks, a handsome young sailor noticed her tears, took pity on her and said, "Look, you've got a lot to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day."
Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy. "The girl nodded 'yes.' After all, what did she have to lose? That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a life-boat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.
Three weeks later, during a routine search, she was discovered by the captain. "What are you doing here?" the Captain asked. "I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained. "He's taking me to Europe, and he's screwing me." "He sure is, lady," said the Captain. "This is the Staten Island Ferry."
--- BONUS JOKE ---
One day at school, the teacher asked the children what they thought was beautiful. She asked Sally, and Sally replied, "I think flowers are beautiful."
She called on Tommy, and Tommy replied, " I think frogs are beautiful."
Next she called on Billy, and Billy replied, "I think pregnant women are." "Why is that," she asked? "Because, when my sister got pregnant my dad said beautiful, just @#*#@$% beautiful!"
Compliments of: The H-man
Have a great weekend. See you at Happy Hour.