Going Elephant Hunting ?


ENGINEERS

     hunt elephants by going to Africa, catching gray animals at random, and stopping when any one of them weights within plus or minus 15 percent of any previously observed elephant.

ECONOMISTS

    don't hunt elephants, but they believe that if elephants are paid enough, they will hunt themselves.

STATISTICIANS

    hunt the first animal they see N times and call it an elephant.

CONSULTANTS

    don't hunt elephants, and many have neverr hunted anything at all, but they can be hired by the hour to advise those people who do.

POLITICIANS

    don't hunt elephants, but they will share the elephant you catch with the people who voted for them.

LAWYERS

    don't hunt elephants, but they do follow the herds around arguing about who owns the droppings.

SOFTWARE LAWYERS

    will claim that they own an entire herd based on the look and feel of one dropping.

VICE PRESIDENTS OF ENGINEERING,
RESEARCH, AND DEVELOPMENT

    try hard to hunt elephants, but their staff are designed to prevent it. When the vice president does get to hunt elephants, the staff will try to ensure that all possible elephants are completely prehunted before the vice president sees them. If the vice president does see a nonprehunted elephant, the staff will 1) compliment the vice president's keen eyesight and 2) enlarge itself to prevent any recurrence.

SENIOR MANAGERS

    set broad elephant-hunting policies based on the assumption that elephants are just like field mice, but with deeper voices.

QUALITY ASSURANCE INSPECTORS

    ignore the elephant and look for mistakes the other hunters made when they were packing the jeep.

SALES PEOPLE

    don't hunt elephants but spend their time selling elephants they haven't caught, for delivery two days before the season opens.

SOFTWARE SALES PEOPLE

    ship the first thing they catch and write up an invoice for an elephant.

HARDWARE SALES PEOPLE

    catch rabbits, paint them gray, and sell them as desktop elephants.


Adam Sandler