If Microsoft Build cars

  1. A particular model year of car wouldn't be available until after that year instead of before it.

  2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you'd have to buy a new car.

  3. Occasionally your car would just die for no reason, and you'd have to restart it. For some strange reason, you'd just accept this.

  4. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought a Car 95 or a Car NT. But then you'd have to buy more seats.

  5. Sun Motorsystems would make a car that was powered by the sun, twice as reliable, and five times as fast-but it would only run on 5 percent of the roads.

  6. The oil, engine, gas, and alternator warnings lights would be replaced with a single "General Car Fault" warning light.

  7. People would get excited about the "new" features in Microsoft cars, forgetting completely that they had been available in other cars for years.

  8. We'd all have to switch to Microsoft gas.

  9. The U.S. government would be getting subsidies from an automaker, instead of giving them.

  10. New seats would force everyone to have the same-size butt.

Adam Sandler