Bill Gates New House

As many people have probably heard by now, Bill Gates built a new home, a VERY large home, 35 garages, several buildings and so on. However, the problems he's had with the house are much less known. The following is an excerpt from a conversation Bill had with his new home contractor.

Bill:There are a few issues we need to discuss

Contractor:Ah, you have our basic support option. Calls are free for the first 90 days and a $75 call thereafter. Okay?

Bill:Uh, yeah. The first issue is the living room. We think it's a little smaller than we anticipated.

Contractor:Yeah, some compromises were made to have it out by the release date.

Bill:We won't be able to fit all our furniture in there.

Contractor:Well, you have two options. You can purchase a new, larger living room. Or you can use a stacker.


Contractor:Yeah, it allows you to fit twice as much furniture into the living room. By stacking it, of course, you put the entertainment center on the couch, the chairs on the table, etc. You leave an empty spot, so that when you want to use some furniture, you can unstack what you need and put it back when you're done.

Bill:Uh, I dunno... Issue two. The second issue is the light fixtures. The light bulbs we brought with us from our old house don't fit. The threads run the wrong way.

Contractor:Oh, that's a feature! The bulbs you have aren't plug and play. You'll have to upgrade to new bulbs.

Bill:And the electrical outlets? The holes are round instead of rectangular. How do I fix that?

Contractor:That's another feature designed with the customer in mind. Just uninstall and reinstall the electrical system.

Bill:You're kidding!?!

Contractor:Nope, it's the only way.

Bill:(Sighing) Well, I have one last problem. Sometimes when I have guests, someone will flush the toilet and it won't stop. The water pressure drops so low that the showers don't work.

Contractor:That's a resource leakage problem. One fixture is failing to terminate and is hogging the resource, preventing other fixtures from accessing. All you need to do is reboot the house after every flush.

Bill:Reboot the house? How do I fix that?

Contractor:Well, after each flush, you all need to exit the house, turn off the water at the street, turn it back on, reenter the house. Then you can get back to work.

Bill:That's the last straw! What kind of product are you selling me?

Contractor:Hey, if you don't like it, nobody made you buy it.

Bill:And when will it be fixed?

Contractor:Oh, in the next house, which we'll be ready to release next year. Actually it was due out this year, but we've had some delays... Sound familiar.....

If speed scares you, try Windows...

Adam Sandler